Snack Otose
Tama's request: Please watch this program in a bright room and at a safe distance from your TV.
To err is human,
but so, too, is to repent for those mistakes
and learn from them.
Tama-chan!
I'll be frank and apologize.
Thanks for listening to my confession.
No problem. Take good care of your wife.
Hey, Yosaku!
If you're done, then scram already!
There's a line waiting here!
Tama-chan, listen to my confession next!
You just want to have a chat with her, don't you?
Like you're one to talk!
Hey, what's all this racket?
Is she giving consultations or something?
It looks more like a confessional booth.
She was only lending an ear to whining drunkards at first.
Perhaps they found it easier to spill the beans to a machine.
Now I don't know if this is a snack bar or a church.
But aren't you getting more customers thanks to that?
Nah, they're all more interested in confessing than drinking alcohol.
Tama-chan!
I hereby swear never to drink alcohol again!
We're even getting people like him.
Listen up, you louts!
This is a mecca for old men to partake in alcohol and wholesome debauchery.
If you're not interested in me, then get the hell outta here!
Tama-sama, being too risque is a sin too, isn't it?
Not to worry.
You aren't the least bit risque.
Just grotesque.
Who are you calling Dr. Gero?!
Want me to marry you off to Krillin, you damn artificial human?!
Well, I don't really mind, if being of help to people makes Tama happy.
That won't do, Gran.
I've heard your confession.
Leave your repentance to me.
Amen
Um, Gintoki-sama...
Robokko's Confessional
What is this?
Rejoice. You have your own shop now.
Listen to confessions here from now on.
1000 yen per confession!!
Would you like to repent for your sins?
Complete privacy guaranteed. All confessions heard will be deleted from memory.
Are you telling me to turn it into a business? I can't take money for this.
No problem.
20% of the revenue will go to Gran as rent,
and 80% will go to me as compensation for my assistance.
Gintoki-sama, a different problem has popped up now.
Don't get the wrong idea.
I just want to help you fulfill your dream of being of use to humans.
With this, the people who confess to you will gain salvation.
And so will you, for being of use to them.
And lastly, so will my finances.
Everybody wins.
I think that last person is beyond salvation.
Robokko's Confessional
Anyway, you simply have to do what you've always done here.
But...
Don't worry. If you run into trouble, I'll be standing by in back to help you.
So go break a leg.
O-Okay.
Who would've thought there was such a great way to make money?
I repent the fact
that I was running a worthless business like Odd Jobs until now.
Uh, excuse me.
Oh, someone's here already.
I'd like to remain anonymous, if possible.
Oh, rest assured.
Your face isn't visible from here,
and your voice has been altered using that special mic.
That's a relief.
In that case, could you listen to my confession?
He must be around fifteen or sixteen.
Teenage boys do worry about the most pointless things.
I've committed a huge sin.
I'm undergoing my apprenticeship at a certain place,
but the boss there is a piece of shit.
Yeah, that happens to everyone.
Even though he works me to death,
he doesn't pay me on time,
he's stingy, shady,
and his feet are stinky.
Yeah, that guy sounds pretty shitty.
Does someone that awful really exist?
So the other day, I got kinda mad
and threw the mop while cleaning his room,
only to have it hit one of his treasures and break it.
Lady Robokko,
will my sin be forgiven?
Gintoki-sama?
There's no need to apologize for that.
Such a piece of shit deserves to have all his stuff destroyed.
The heavens declare that you are blameless,
and that your shitty boss will be subject to divine punishment.
I see. That sounds about right.
I mean, he's always putting me through hell.
Then, as much as it hurts me to do this,
it's already broken, anyway.
Why would you buy the weather reporter's figurine?
For an adult, that's way too creepy!
Here's your divine punishment!
Thank you.
Amen.
Uh, what is that?
Looks like a figurine of Ketsuno Ana.
Oh, is that so?
For such a shitty boss, he sure has good taste.
All right. Let's keep this up.
Okay.
Anybody else?
Um...
I came from space to marry into the human race,
but my husband's a runny piece of shit.
He doesn't work or provide for the family,
is stingy, shady, has stinky feet and stinky feces.
Hey, isn't she talking about the shitty boss from earlier?
No.
This one's not a piece of shit. He's a runny piece of shit.
So the other day, I got kinda mad
and tried to doodle on his face while he was asleep,
but then a mop came flying at me...
Isn't that the mop from earlier?
The piece of shit really was the runny piece of shit!
So I broke the mop in two,
only for one half to pierce his figurine,
and the other to pierce the runny piece of shit himself.
Huh? Is he all right?
Is the runny piece of shit still alive?
But he just kept sleeping, so I left him that way.
You don't think that's because he slipped into eternal sleep?!
Lady Robokko, will my sin be forgiven?
Isn't this murder?
Nope.
All she did was kick the feces lying on the street to the side.
I bet that's made Edo a little bit cleaner.
The heavens are overjoyed by your actions.
There's sure to be blessings headed your way.
Really?
The mop's still lodged in him. Is that really okay?
It's fine. Leave it stuck in him.
That's his cross
to bear.
That's a relief.
Amen.
Amen?
Gintoki-sama?
Gintoki-sama, are you all right?
Wh-What do you mean?
I'm perfectly fine!
Really?
What about the mop stuck to your backside?
Huh? Mop?
Robokko's Confessional
Indeed. It was stuck there from the moment I met you today.
Is that so?
I figured I shouldn't stick my nose where it doesn't belong,
considering the mop was already stuck pretty deep.
Huh?
Oh, you mean this?
Rather than sticking into my butt, it was sticking out of it!
I mistook the mop for yakisoba yesterday and ate it, you see.
Really?
Really! Don't get the wrong idea!
It's got nothing to do with the mop mentioned in those confessions, okay?
I know that.
Yeah, they're not related at all.
Everybody loves Ketsuno Ana,
and I'm sure everyone's had a mop stab their ass without knowing it, once or twice.
It couldn't have been them!
Sure, their chins seemed familiar,
but save for Inoki, all of mankind has similar chins.
It's all good!
I'm sure my Ketsuno Ana's fine,
and that my ketsunoana's fine, too!
I'm overthinking this!
Anybody else?
There's a chin more recognizable than Inoki's!
They wish to remain anonymous, apparently.
There's basically no point to anonymity here!
Allow me to translate.
"I'm a certain someone's pet,
but my owner's an unbelievable piece of diarrhetic shit."
Why is his stomach getting worse and worse?
"He doesn't feed me properly or take me on walks,
and he has stinky feet. Also, he has stinky feet.
And to top it all off, he has stinky feet."
The stinkiness of his feet is all that's left now!
"So the other day, I got kinda mad
and went to take a dump on his face while he was asleep,
but it was runnier than expected and
sprayed all the way to my friend mopping up the room."
What the hell were you guys doing to that piece of diarrhetic shit?
"That made my friend slip and throw the mop,
which another friend broke in half.
One half lodged in the piece of diarrhetic shit's ass."
It was all connected?
Your diarrhea was the cause of everything?!
"That made him get up via spinal reflex
and hit my crotch.
The blow sent me flying,
and when I came to, I found an unfamiliar person crushed beneath me.
There was blood everywhere,
and he wouldn't move no matter how much I tried to wake him up.
I was really, really scared,
so I hid the body in the piece of diarrhetic shit's closet."
You're the scariest of them all!
"Lady Robokko, will my sin be forgiven?"
Oh my God!
It was them!
Not only did they mess up my Ketsuno Ana and my ketsunoana,
they topped it off by confessing to an unbelievable sin!
Robokko's Confessional
Um, Gintoki-sama?
How should he repent for his sin?
Um, Gintoki-sama?
Get rid of it.
I said, go dump whatever's in that closet into the river
before divine judgment rains down upon you, you damn meatball!
Robokko's Confessional
Um...
Rather than repenting for his sin, he'll be committing another—
When the two sins collide, they'll cancel each other out.
Is that how it works?
I'll add that to my database.
Hey.
Mind listening to this old man's confession?
Sorry, but we're busy right now,
so could you come back—
I've committed a horrible sin.
The thing is,
I was walking the streets with my friend when a massive furball fell from the sky.
We got hit head-on by the thing and passed out.
When I came to, my friend was nowhere to be found.
If I knew things would end up this way,
I would never have taken him out of the castle!
How am I supposed to apologize to you—
no, to the nation?!
Sho-chan!
Don't tell me.
Don't tell me!
The body that furball hid in the closet...
It's the shogun?!
Jesus!
Th-Those guys assassinated the shogun
and then hid his corpse in my room behind my back?!
This is bad!
An "amen" won't be enough to write this off!
If anyone finds out, every last drop of my ***** fluids will be eradicated!
**men!
What am I to do?
Calm down.
This Sho-chan person has only gone missing.
We don't know for sure that he's dead, right?
Right!
For now, just make him leave before this comes back to bite us!
I've already looked everywhere I could.
But aren't there cases where, if you calm down and look,
you'll find whatever you were looking for unexpectedly close to you?
Like in a closet.
She's letting the shogun's crotch snake come out to bite us!
I see! A closet, huh?
All right. I'll try investigating all the closets in this area.
Thank you.
Amen!
Amen.
Don't amen me!
C-Calm down.
I ordered him to get rid of the shogun's corpse, remember?
He must've been washed way downstream by now.
Um, excuse me.
Can I go next?
You see, I've committed a horrible sin.
That beard looks familiar.
How should I say this? I betrayed my friend, or something like that.
Wait, why is he drenched? I don't remember it raining.
Actually, due to various circumstances,
I'm a vagabond who's lost his home and family.
Unable to bear the sight, my friend offered to let me freeload at his place.
Or, well, it felt to me like he offered.
Doesn't that mean you basically just intruded on him?
So I took Gin-san—
...my friend up on his offer and started living at his place.
Wasn't he about to say "Gin-san" just now?
This place has no food or A/C, and is basically no different from living in the park,
so I had to make do with eating the dog food I stole,
but it seems like they found out,
because the sliding door to my room was suddenly opened
and I was dumped in the river before I could get a word in.
I barely made it out alive before running all the way here.
Huh?
Could it be that
completely unbeknownst to me,
aside from the shogun's corpse, a living corpse was also freeloading in my closet?!
Apart from dog food, I was also sneaking as many bites as I could
of pudding and the like from the fridge without being caught.
I wonder if that made him angry.
Wait a minute! What about the shogun, then?
Did the furball mistake him for the shogun and throw him in the river?
That'd mean the shogun's still in my closet!
Will the sin I committed be forgiven?
I fully understand your desire to repent.
Now prove that it is real with your actions
and throw yourself into the river one more time.
What?!
H-Hold on, Lady Robokko!
Was anybody else living in the closet with you?
Huh? Actually, I did sense a person in the upper level.
Take that person and throw yourself into the river one more time.
If you do, the heavens and your friend alike
will consider the pudding case water under the bridge.
No, everything but the pudding is getting swept under the bridge!
You mustn't come up until I say it's okay.
Amen.
Don't amen me!
Sorry, but when we say "amen," your session is over, so please leave.
Hold it!
Seriously? Are you seriously going "amen" with that?!
Amen.
Th-That was close!
But now I've taken countermeasures.
The evidence should be destroyed this time for sure!
Robokko's Confessional
Um, excuse me.
Could you listen to me?
I was living with my boyfriend,
but this filthy guy with a goatee suddenly showed up and threw me into the river.
It was you?!
He was clinging to me pretty persistently,
so I finished him off before running all the way here.
I wonder if Gin-sa—
...my boyfriend was behind it.
True, I did eat his half-eaten puddings and say they were indirect kisses, but...
You were just kissing that filthy goatee indirectly!
I was wondering if that kind of thing might've pissed him off.
Shouldn't you guys be repenting for stuff other than the pudding?!
Wait a second.
Just where is the shogun, then?
Uh, was anybody else living in the closet with you and that filthy goatee?
I didn't see anyone else.
Why do you ask?
Could it be that the shogun was never in my closet in the first place?
Could it be that the furball hurt either her or the goatee,
and that while the shogun's case sounded similar, it was completely unrelated?
That's it! That's gotta be it!
The crime was occurring in the meeting room, not on the scene!
So, how do I get my boyfriend to forgive me?
You don't have to worry. I'm sure he's forgotten all about it already.
What, really?! Is it "amen"?!
It's totally "amen."
Even the heavens are saying they'll forgive you as a special service
if you buy some fresh pudding and put it in the fridge.
Ah, that's such a relief.
Actually, I had a feeling that was the case.
Otherwise, when he dumped me in the river,
he wouldn't have thrown me a life buoy.
Forget the meeting room, the crime was occurring in the confessional booth!
Well, I should return this life buoy to him along with the pudding.
Amen.
Wait!
I take back the amen!
Cancel the amen!
What's wrong, Gintoki-sama?
Tama, quickly confiscate what she's carrying
and leave it in front of the police station!
I'm not sure I follow, but very well.
Listen! Don't let anyone spot you in the act!
I should've done this all along.
The best way to deal with things like this is to dump it on the police.
Um, excuse me.
Could I have a moment?
Ack! That uniform!
Isn't Tama-san here?
Actually, I saw her doing something weird outside our station.
She messed up!
Someone saw her leaving the shogun's corpse there!
Um, the thing Tama-san left there...
This pudding. I ended up eating it.
Will I be forgiven?
What are you even talking about?!
Yes, I said to confiscate what she was carrying,
but learn to take a hint, damn it!
Pudding
I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but it was Tama-san's pudding...
What happened to the shogun, then?
I was wondering if she remembered the marriage meeting from before
and left the pudding for me, or something.
Shut it!
I don't have time to waste on you, pudding-for-brains!
Hang on.
I could use this guy!
What did you say?!
Tama-san found the shogun's corpse?!
But given the gravity of the situation,
she couldn't just report it to the cops.
The heavens are telling me that if you say you're the one who found the corpse
and report it as the Joi rebels' doing,
you'll get to taste Tama's pudding again.
Oh, hello? Hijikata-san?
I found the shogun's corpse.
There's a dying message that says "Zura."
Yes.
Please handle the emergency preparations.
Pudding.
I need to go forge the dying message.
All right! Everything's settled now!
Robokko's Confessional
Wow, things are getting chaotic now.
Excuse me.
I need to talk to you.
Not for a confession, but to ask you to help with our investigation.
Huh? It sure is noisy outside. Did something happen?
The thing is, we got intel that the shogun was assassinated.
But when we got there,
instead of the shogun, we found one of our men instead.
I'm not Zura, I'm Katsura! It looks like you're not home, so I'll come another time. P.S. Cancolle Kai's final boss is pretty hard. Did you kill him, Gintoki?
We found this dying message.
Zura came to hang out at the worst possible time!
He wrote a lot of drivel,
but most of it was to throw off the enemy.
What he wanted to tell us was the last line:
P.S. Cancolle Kai's final boss is pretty hard. Did you kill him, Gintoki?
"Did you kill him, Gintoki?"
He even caused an extremely annoying miracle!
Do you know this Gintoki guy?
No, can't say I do.
Hold it right there! Gintoki didn't do it!
He didn't kill the shogun, pudding-for- brains, or Cancolle Kai's final boss!
I see.
Sorry for causing you trouble.
Amen.
A-Amen.
Crap!
The shogun was bad enough by himself, but now I've been accused of another crime!
And where the hell is the shogun?
Excuse me.
I'd appreciate it if you could hear me out.
I don't have time for that crap right now!
I'm the one who wants to confess—
Is that so? Forgive me.
I'll come again.
He was alive!
The shogun was alive!
I was wrong for trying to take advantage of people's desire to repent for their sins
and make money off of it!
I'll repent for my mistake!
I'll never do anything like this again!
So please, God, Buddha, Shogun!
Please forgive me!
I beg of you! I'll give you 300 yen!
Um, er...
I don't really understand,
but if you're regretting it that much,
I'm sure the heavens will forgive you.
Huh? Really?
Really, really?!
It's a miracle!
This is a confession!
Heaven won't abandon one who repents for his sins from the bottom of his heart!
I underestimated you, confession.
Forgive me, confession.
I'll turn over a new leaf and become an upstanding citizen, no matter what!
Is that so? What a coincidence.
You see, I came here looking to make up my mind to live a new life.
Huh?
The thing is, a certain someone saved me when I was lying hurt on the road,
but it seems I'd hit my head pretty hard.
I've lost my memories.
Huh?
But I've decided to cast my past away here, ask for forgiveness,
and live life with my eyes on the future.
Together with Katsura-san here.
Mark my words. You'll make a great Joi Rebel.
Together, let us bring down the rotten bakufu and with it, the shogun!
Sure, Katsura-san.
There he is!
Finally found you!
Hey, you got anything to say?
Aren't you going to confess and beg for forgiveness?
Robokko's Confessional
Not really.
Caution: Cameras flashing.
Preview
Breaking News:
Unemployed man residing in the Kabuki District arrested for obstruction of justice.
Breaking news:
Sakata Gintoki was arrested on charges of obstruction of justice.
Arrested on charges of Obstruction of Justice Unemployed Suspect Sakata Gintoki
In response to the questioning,
Being a Leader Is Tough
"Being a Leader Is Tough,"
was the statement he gave.
We're waiting to see how the investigation unfolds.
The protagonist has been arrested!!!
Wait, this continues next week!!!
Oh, well. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You may be a mere foot soldier there, Shogun, but I choose you!!